After reviewing my paper, my peer, Corie, gave me suggestions on improving my paper and also good feedback.
One way was to add a little detail about what I learned throughout the experience to develop the lesson more. She also stated that my conclusion may end a little sudden. She also highlighted a few awkward phrases and spelling errors.
She thought my story was engaging and hooked the reader from the start. The progression was logical and the focus of the journey is evident. Transitions are smooth and the story is balanced. She also commented on good use of shorter sentences occasionally to enforce strong points within well structured paragraphs.
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