Strengths/Improvements

2 Strengths/ Clear and Why?

1. The details of the story. They help outline the character's environment.

2. Progression of the story. The order of events is sequential allowing the audience to follow the story. By having distinct progression the story is focused.

2 Improvements and How?

1. Guide the reader better by providing more detail about the character in the opening text.How? When? What? Why?

2. Provide the changing point of the character. From fear in the world to safety in new home. Event which lead to understanding. Make it clear to the reader what was understood by the experience overall.